Dealing With Controlling Personalities


In each of our lives we run across or have relationships with individuals who want, and often demand, they get their way. They have strong personalities, strong wills and often strong egos that make them controlling, often narcissistic and manipulative.

They might be a friend, spouse, relative or even a boss, but people of this description often try to suppress us from voicing our opinions. When we are dealing with family members who have a history of being demanding and go all out to get their way, it is easy to become manipulated by them, sometimes to keep the peace or because other family members go along with their demands.

Unlike with family, we can choose to have relationships with friends or not. But, even elective friendships become toxic when one individual disregards the needs and feeling of the other person and is all about getting their way.

These situations are not only frustrating but can also have an affect on our health and our morale. When others manipulate us we can feel unheard, unseen and not valued. This can lead to anger and a feeling of powerlessness when this becomes a pattern of relationships with particular individuals.

These types of relationships take their toll on us physically, emotionally and even spiritually. They can become the source of continued anxiety and frustration, creating stress that can become physically debilitating if it goes on long enough. These types of relationship stressors have been shown to cause chronic conditions, such as skin problems, asthma and stomach or bowel issues.

With emotional relationships like these in our lives we can lose our sense of self and self worth. The only way we can avoid these types of relationships and the negative feelings they engender is to empower ourselves and take control over the quality and tone of our relationships.

To appreciate an actual situation, let’s discuss dealing with a friend who is never on time for scheduled meetings and appointments. This makes you feel disrespected and not valued. In addition, his being late also has ramifications for you, causing you to be late for appointments as well.

With this scenario in mind, let’s review some steps you can take to take back control of your time, your feelings and your relationship.

Part II – Steps to TakeWith all good wishes,

Copyright 2010 G. Donadio