End Of The Year Relationship Tune-Up

As one year ends and another readies to begin, it is the perfect time to assess our relationships and initiate a “Tune-Up”. Given the ever growing demands of our daily lives, it becomes very easy to overlook the “care and feeding” of our intimate, family and long-term relationships. Relationships have been shown to have a significant impact on our health, happiness and longevity; taking care of them and keeping up on their maintenance are essential.

Taking the time to have a “tune-up” for your important relationships is worth the effort. Here are some simple but important interpersonal behaviors that will help tune up your relationships and add to the fulfillment and satisfaction you desire from them. 

Conflict resolution

Conflict in relationships is inevitable, but the ways we handle and respond to it are not. Some of us try to avoid dealing with conflict, while others want to immediately resolve things head-on. Instead of trying to avoid conflict, it can be constructive to objectively write down our thoughts and feelings.

We can share them with the other person in a way that expresses how we feel and in a style that makes us comfortable, possibly in a letter, greeting card or email. For those of us who tackle conflict head-on, it can be helpful to take a step back and discern if this issue is something that must be resolved immediately or whether we can give ourselves time to process what has occurred, allowing us to see the conflict from the other person’s perspective.

Respecting The Others Person’s Experience

Respecting your partner’s or friend’s experience of a particular conflict doesn’t mean you “go along to get along” or that you should not express your own experience or feelings about it. It does mean that you respect and consider the other individual’s unique experience of what has occurred. Recognize that he wants to be seen, heard and valued just as much as you do.

By being open to accepting what the other person is feeling and what he has experienced, you send the message that you sincerely care about his feelings. And, while you may not agree with those feelings, you bring integrity to the relationship that allows the other person to be who he is and express feelings in a safe and non-hostile environment.

Learning New Communication Skills

There is no doubt that communication in all types of relationships can make or break them, but changing how we relate to one another is easier said than done. This difficulty stems from inherited or past communication patterns that can quickly lead to hurt feelings or emotional disconnection. What’s more, most people don’t have the knowledge, skills or the time to invest in changing how they behave. Learn new skills to enhance your relationships and watch them flourish!

 Would You Rather Be Right Or Be Loved?

An important question to ask when we dealing with conflict in a significant relationship is: Would you rather be right or be loved? This simple litmus test can help reveal a balance and a win-win situation for both the parties in a conflict. It also allows us to reflect on what is important in both our life and in our relationships.

 

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How Essential Is Doctor-Patient Communication To Whole Health?

Nurse-Patient Communication
At the National Health Policy Conference held in Washington, D.C., members of the Agency for Healthcare Research and Policy agreed that the need for research focusing on the doctor-patient relationship was urgent in order to address the current crisis of patient dissatisfaction, medical-error, malpractice claims and physician burnout. Communication between the patient and all practitioners, health coaches, nurses, or  caregivers is thus an essential component of any whole health approach.

Patients are not happy, doctors and medical teams are not happy, and the health care system is struggling to adapt measures to turn the tide of this growing problem. The 2012 Institute for HealthCare Communication (IHC) report regarding research on the impact of poor communication revealed the following:

  • Research conducted during the 10 year period of 1995-2005 has demonstrated that ineffective team communication is the root cause for nearly 66 percent of all medical errors during that period.
  • This means that when healthcare team members do not communicate effectively, patient care often suffers.
  • Further, medical error vulnerability is increased when healthcare team members are under stress, are in high-task situations, and when they are not communicating clearly or effectively.

The research from the IHC reports cites that 50% of all malpractice is the result of poor communication between doctor and patient.

The IHC report states: “Research evidence indicates that there are strong positive relationships between a healthcare team member’s communication skills and a patient’s capacity to follow through with medical recommendations, self-manage a chronic medical condition, and adopt preventive health behaviors. Studies conducted during the past three decades show that the clinician’s ability to explain, listen and empathize can have a profound effect on biological and functional health outcomes as well as patient satisfaction and experience of care.”

IHC goes on to make an alarming statement that “Extensive research has shown that no matter how knowledgeable a clinician might be, if he or she is not able to open good communication with the patient, he or she may be of no help.”

And, while the addition of nurse health coaches to the medical team has been viewed by some as a solution to the communication problem, the relationship between the physician or primary care provider and the patient cannot be corrected by these additional team members. In fact, not addressing the underlying cause of doctor-patient discomfort may even increase the distrust and discomfort the patient experiences with their doctor or primary care provider.

As physicians, physician assistants and nurse practitioners are the diagnostic experts in our medical care system, ensuring the communication between these providers and their patients is critical, as research data demonstrates.

A recent pilot study, conducted through Central Michigan University (CMU), on the effects of a communication model, Behavior Engagement with Pure Presence, on patient and physician satisfaction has just concluded, and will be published shortly. The study was funded by Blue Cross and Blue Shield Foundation of Michigan.

The Primary Investigator (P.I.) of this study, Dr. Christine Clipper, wanted to thoroughly test the Behavioral Engagement model by including renowned endocrinologist, Dr. Opada Alzohaili, who was trained in the model’s communication skills and had previously earned high patient satisfaction survey ratings. Dr. Alzohaili’s post-pilot patient satisfaction scores were significant, revealing 100% improvement on all measures of patient perception of relational empathy during their encounter with the doctor, in contrast to his pre-pilot patient satisfaction scores.

Dr. Clipper’s research data demonstrated that Behavioral Engagement with Pure Presence has “…a psychological effect on the patient’s perception of the patient-provider relationship. The patient perception of relational empathy with their doctor increased through improved provider communication skills through applying the Behavioral Engagement model.”

Further research on the application of the model includes a pilot study on the Behavioral Engagement model in Electronic Medical Record Communication, funded by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services/ MI Dept. of Community Health;
and a randomized controlled clinical trial study with funding from major national health care organizations.


For more whole health discussions, listen to my weekly radio show Living Above The Drama. Also available on iHeartRadio.

A Healthier Relationship With Food

 

Our mood and our food are intimately connected. It's interesting that the emphasis is usually on how things from outside our bodies affect our insides when in reality so much of what is going on inside affects our outsides. This is really evident in terms of weight loss and weight gain. The way we feel about ourselves, our work, or our life, whether we are fulfilled or dissatisfied, has more to do with what or how much we choose to eat than eating a certain food affects how we feel.

One of the reasons diets don't work is because the "work" is being done on the outside of the problem instead of the inside. I have been a nutritionist for over 30 years and have seen thousands of patients who want to change the way they look or the way they eat.

When we start to "work" on the goal, within a relatively short period of time, they become aware of underlying feelings and emotions associated with not eating foods that "medicate" or mask their feelings. They often become discouraged because the feelings are uncomfortable and sometimes painful. It is our human nature to avoid pain and move towards pleasure. It takes courage to truly tackle and confront the underlying issues of "food and mood." Rather than focusing on the outside of the problem, we need to focus on the inside instead.

Here is an exercise you may find to be of value. If you are dealing with mood or food issues, keep a journal for 10 days. Write down everything you eat. Also write about how you feel when you don't eat what you want and how you feel when you do eat what you want.

Just becoming more aware of what you are putting in your mouth, and how it translates to how you feel after you eat a particular food, can be the start of a healthier and happier relationship with food and your mood.

 

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888-354-4325 Take charge of your health!